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The most bizarre laws of Parliament

Relieving yourself in a policeman's helmet, wearing no socks around the reigning monarch and having a wee tipple during the budget delivery. What do all these strange things have in common? They all make up our list of the most bizarre laws granted by Parliament.


Sorry, Oliver who?

Consumption of mince pies on Christmas Day was banned by Oliver Cromwell in the 17th century. Apparently, the festive treats were not considered puritan enough.


Bottoms up!

However, the only Members of Parliament allowed to eat or drink in the Chamber is the Chancellor of the Exchequer, who can have an alcoholic drink while delivering the budget.


Sorry ma'am, this is awkward

The Chancellor may be granted niceties, but the same doesn't go for the reigning monarch, who is banned from the House of Commons, following Charles I disturbance in 1642...


Knock ya socks off

...although if you're standing within one hundred yards of the reigning monarch without your socks on, you're breaking the law I'm afraid.


Knight in shining...oh...

You can forget wearing your suit of armour into the Houses of Parliament, it's been an offence to do so since 1313, so don't expect a warm welcome...


This is getting out of hand...

...despite not being an illegal act in Parliament, applause is an extremely rare occurrence. It is deemed distracting and unnecessary, and members are encouraged to find other outlets to express their approval.


Having a whale of a time

It was decided in 1307 that the head of any dead whale found within British territory becomes property of the king, while the tail belongs to the queen - should the bones be needed for her right royal corset.


Can ye?

So, in York you really can get away with murder. Just make sure it's a Scotsman, as it's still legal to murder them within the city's ancient walls. Well, if he's carrying a bow and arrow...


One for the bucket list...

Just make sure you don't intend on dying in the Houses of Parliament. Apparently, anyone who does so, is entitled to a state funeral, so the law is in place to avoid this.


Better wait 'til Monday then

Meanwhile in Hereford, you're committing a crime if you shoot a Welsh person on Sunday with a longbow in the Cathedral Close...


Dim Diolch!

Make sure they keep the Welsh language at bay, while it's against the law to make a speech in Welsh in Parliament, quotations from other languages are allowed.


What a relief...

Can't make the toilet? No problem. A motorist who feels compelled to urinate in public can do so only if he aims for his rear wheel and keeps his right hand on his vehicle...


A little peed off

...while a pregnant woman is allowed to relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet...


A wee little favour

...and if you're in Scotland, knock on someone's door and they're obliged to let you use their toilet.


How boar-ing!

Londoners would be found committing an offence if they have a pigsty outside their homes...


A beat deal...

...and also be breaking the law if they're found trying to beat a carpet, rug or mat in any street in the Metropolitan Police District, although there is an exception for shaking a doormat before 8am.


Unlucky, Trump

What do you do if a man tries to kiss you against your will? Bite his nose off, a law passed in 1837 gives you the A-Okay.


Oops upside your head

And finally, give that envelope a once over before you post it. It's an act of treason to stick a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.